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Tuesday, 24 March 2009

  • Currently
    Thornyhold
    By Mary Stewart
    see related

    Interesting---

    In my defense, I have had neither computer or internet at my house since December 20th. Blame a wicked root system virus, and a lack of funds, respectively. So, I apologise to those of you who actually cared about what I have to say.
    The other night, I had a crazy dream, one of those random things that makes no sense. But when I woke up, I realized that the peoples of the dream had all been Xangans. Not just my sister and friends, but those of you whose real names I don't even know: spokenfor, somebodyelsesgirl, Legendairy, and RennaissancePhoenix were all there. I realized just how much I've missed all this.
    I've been working in the frame shop at Hobby Lobby, which in the world of retail is definitely on the high end of things, but let's be honest, not that mentally challenging.  In fact, I'vebeen messing up on little things latesly, due to a complete lack of paying attention to what I'm doing. My mind is miles away, doing something more interesting. Frankly, It's not hard to be more interesting. The Lord is always taking care of us. He is slowly bringing us out of debt and into our dreams. But I still feel like I'm waiting indefinitely for the rest of my life to start. So, my mind, stranded in a swirling mire of inanity, wanders off somewhere more interesting. Interesting, but I suddenly understand, not at all productive. I've been daydreaming and pondering for weeks with little input, and the result is a brain that feels like pudding and no new ideas. And I realized that in my new, fast-paced life where I work outside the home, I had had nothing interesting to stimulate my synapses in some time.
    So, at a borrowed machine and with borrowed time, I am back to xanga. This lovely, imaginary world full of real people. The beauty of this imaginary world is that, unlike the one in my head, there are others to contribute, to incite, to dream with, to banter and sharpen. It's beyond interesting. Though it occurs to me that this particular post is not so very.
    So, Maybe next time, I'll have some new thoughts to share. In the meantime, keep it coming.
    Love to all.


Tuesday, 16 December 2008

  • Coffee Cake = Love

    First of all, sorry for the ridiculously long absence.

    I awoke this morning to a blissful 5 inches of snow! I am snuggled with my coffee at my computer for the first time in a long time, and enjoying it thoroughly. My first thought when I got up and saw the snow was that I ought to bake something. Snow makes me feel cozy, and what's more cozy than something warm and soft and sweet? And Baking really helps warm up the house. Plus, I thought my Husband would enjoy a nice coffee cake when he got up. Then I realized that he will probably sleep at least until 9. so maybe I should hold off on that cake awhile. So here I am, finally blogging the thing that's been on my mind all month.
    You may remember that awhile back I wrote about wanting to find my "work" for God. Well, He's been showing me a lot and I feel like, for the moment anyway, I am doing what He wants of me, not just being what he wants me to.
    Back in October, I was listening on line to one of my favorite radio programs: Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I strongly encourage all you girls to check her out (yes, even you singles. Nancy herself is single and even adresses the topic I'm about to write on as it applies to single women) because I have been so blessed by her teaching. She was doing a series on the Titus 2 Woman which I found so challenging and uplifting. And then she got to the phrase, "Keepers At Home", and spent over a week on that one little part of a verse. I won't begin to summarze the teaching here, but God spoke to me one day, as I listened with awe, and said,"You need to learn to do this work, first."
    I was astounded. After all, I had been a Stay-At-Home-Wife for over a year. And I've known how to cook and clean since middle school at least. But the Lord began to show me that it was a matter of heart. I was spending all my time wishing, planning or regretting the things I wanted to do outside my home. In reality, not only was I fairly lazy around the house, but my heart was in rebellion against my situation. It didn't help that other women, especially those at Church were always asking me, "What do you do?" (As in, you don't even have any kids, what could possibly keep you busy all day at home?)
    I started asking myself what it actually meant to be a housewife, something I had never really considered before. I've always considered housewifrey the most noble profession. But, I have never thought it was for me. My mom was a housewife by default. Trained and working as a teacher, she gave up her career to teach Cat and me at home. But it was always clear to me that that was work.  Her job was still teacher, she just taught us. So, I never really thought I was the "housewife type" either. But as God worked on my heart I began considering both myself and the role of "homemaker".
    For most of time and history, women worked in the home. This was not, as many would have you believe, because the men oppressed them and kept them from being "meaningful contributors to society." No, women stayed in the home and worked because, if they didn't, everyone would starve and be naked. Now, a lot of women (especially married ones) like to joke that men would starve and be naked without them now, but nowadays it's not true. Your husband left alone might only eat fast food, but he won't starve. He might accidentally use bleach instead of detergent, but he won't be naked. But as recently as 100 years ago, a woman in the house was literally vital to life. The man went out and procured the raw materials necessary for life, but the woman turned them into something useful. I got a great book at the library called "Forgotten Household Crafts", which truly opened my eyes to how hard that was.
    The housewife prepared every morsel of food from scratch. She baked the bread and fried the chicken, but she also prepared and skimmed the milk, cultured the leaven for weeks, slaughtered the chicken, plucked the chicken, butchered the chicken, prepared the chicken and cleaned up the dishes by hand without running water. Oh, and usually she also made the dish soap herself from ashes and fat.  She did this kind of work over a fire three times a day, 365 days a year. And that was just the cooking.
    The housewife made sure everyone's clothes were clean and presentable (again without running water and using homemade soap), but she also made those clothes herself. Before 1865 she made them by hand. Before the industrial revolution she may have even made the cloth herself. She knitted socks, hats, and outerwear. She cut every piece of fabric with care because it was precious, and she was adept at patching and sizing down still-good garments. And every scrap was saved for quilts or rugs to keep the house warm.
    Her other chores included keeping the house clean, nursing the sick, making candles and other household items, growing a garden, preserving food, and keeping the fire burning without burning down the house.
    Aside: I Love my washing machine! I feel so blessed not to have to pound out my clothes with lye in a cauldron. The hippie in me really likes learning all these things because I have a secret desire to go "back to the land", but honestly, I would have time for nothing else! But who knows, if we do enter a second Great Depression, I might be glad I know how to make soap out of ashes and lard.
    So, housewiferey is not a hard as it used to be. And surely, God is not calling me to start raising chickens. What I really learned is that I needed to change my attitude about making my home. Homemaking is not drudgery these days, it's easy! I have nothing to complain about! I realized that Homemaking is not about what I do, but why I do it. I needed to learn true service and submission to my husband. As much as I study and write on such subjects, I was really resisting in my heart. My husband truly is my hero. I admire him for all the hardships he has overcome--and there have been no ordinary hardships! I trust him completely because he has always taken care of me. He always makes me happy. Was it too much to ask that I mop the floors on occasion to show my respect for him?  And that was the key: not that I mopped, but that I did it so that his life would be easier and happier.
    I'm not going to speculate on how Adam feels about this change, but for me I suddenly felt releived. I felt that what I did had a purpose, and that purpose was showing my love for him through service. I no longer felt "trapped" in my house. I'm on a mission to make it a home.
    The really Ironic thing is that, the moment I learned what God had been trying to teach me, he moved on to lesson 2. I got a job. I had appliled for it back in early October and never heard squat. Then, the first week of December I got a call, was I still interested? and since we really, really, need the money I said yes. I've been working full time suddenly, and I am reeling a little form the transition. And I realize that it's much harder to be a homemaker when you're also a breadwinner. I knew this before when I worked full time, of course, but back then I didn't care. I just let the house go. This time, I think God wants me to learn that, like the Proverbs 31 Wife, I need to take care of my home and be sucessful in the marketplace.
    This is a lesson I never thought I'd have to learn. I thought I was modern and informed, and a good cook, so it would all somehow work out that I had a career. Ok, I thought I'd hire a maid service. But I truly understand now that the first interest of my heart needs to be my home. Nothing else is going to work out for me unless I get that taken care of first. And, surprisingly, I feel very content.
    Also, I feel cold. I think it's time to go whip up that Coffee Cake. And possibly also rice pudding. And, I really do need to mop.

    In Other News:
    Our niece, Lillianne Jael was born on Dec. 4. She is beautiful and mother and baby are both doing well.
    Adam's folks moved back to Kansas on Thanksgiving day. They're settling in.
    Adam and I are both moving ahead with our books. I'm thinking that God's plans for us might not be in the order I expected. But hey, He knows best.

Friday, 21 November 2008

  • Confessions of a Housewife

    Confession time.
    When my Sis and I were kids (okay, teenagers) and were homeschooled, we often spent the school day in costume. We liked all kinds of costumes, from Princesses to "Prairie Girls". Cat favored the Victorian boarding school look, while I was known to emulate Emma Peel from the Avengers on occasion. (Sorry for outing you, Cat!)
    However, that's not the confession. The confession is:
    I still do it.
    I informed my husband this morning that it was a very good day for long skirts, and not to be surprised if I was in full costume when he got home. He chuckled and told me that he thinks I'm cute. Whew! I mean, he knows I'm weird, but coming home to find your wife looking like a Brueghels Painting could throw some men off kilter. Not my man. He loves me through all moods and eras.
    Though, today, I'm not in "garb" (the official Rennie term for fair clothes. See my posts from summer '07 for full details.) Somehow, the full linen skirt and leather-trimmed bodice did not seem right today. Maybe because they're summer clothes and the high today is supposed to be 44*. Brr!
    So, naturally, I went for the 19th century frontier look. And let me tell you, those ladies knew what they were doing when they got dressed. Though none of my clothes are actually "period accurate", the gist is the same. I've got knee-high wool "stockings", cotton drawers, two petticoats, a 9-gore skirt, a light wool sweater, and a wool shawl. So warm and comfy! On drafty days like today, I can really understand what is was like to live in my tiny house in 1906 when it was first built and it was heated by wood stove. A couple of heavy cotton petticoats do the trick for keeping out the cold air. My movement is free enough to get all my chores done, even the baking, which I sometimes find hard when wearing a sweatshirt. Too bulky. And, to be honest, this rivals even my most worn-in bell bottoms for comfort. But one thing is troubling me.
    You see, I'm wearing a corset and chemise. And the thing troubling me is not, as you might imagine that I am uncomfortable. To the contrary, Corsets are quite comfortable if well made, and they are especially nice back support for long days of hard work. No, I am bothered because my corset and chemise are actually 16th century and it totally throws off the silhouette. You see, Tudor corsets like I'm wearing are designed to flatten the front, while 19th century corsets are designed to suck in the waist. So, when paired with my cozy Victorian outfit, it makes me look oddly lumpy and my skirt hangs funny. Not at all attractive. What's a girl to do?(I'm sure some of you have guessed where this is going.)
    I'm making a new corset. I already whipped up a quick chemise from an 1893 pattern, and I'm getting ready to cut the corset pieces. I've discovered that since my recent endeavors for the play, I am much faster at sewing than I used to be.  An unexpected benefit. However, this will probably take two days, because of the handwork involved. For those who care, I'm making it of two layers of muslin and one of pale yellow cotton. It will be trimmed with self-bias strips and boned, unfortunately, with reeds because I have some. And I hope the purists will forgive me, but I'm going to close it with lacings up the front instead of a busk. Busks are expensive!
    Anyway, all this has got me thinking about Housewifery in general. I'm not the greatest housekeeper, but I am inspired by the days when women had to not only keep the house, but make all the family's garments, linens, and household items from scratch. Not to mention all the food. It's hard to complain when I have central heat and a washing machine.
    That said, enough time wasted here. I've got to finish the laundry, winterize the doors and bake a batch or two of cookies for my deserving Husband. And the sewing machine is calling!

Monday, 17 November 2008

  • Ladies and Gentlemen...

       So, the Today Show is doing a short series on gentlemen. Specifically, they were discussing whether gentlemen still exist, and if not, whose fault it is. There was even some discussion about what a gentleman is. Apparently there are so few left that people have forgotten what they look like.
       For the sake of this discussion, I posit that a gentleman is one who treats a woman like a lady. He is polite, respectful, and deferential to women of all ages regardless of his personal feelings towards them. I know that this kind of man still exists because I am married to one. On our first date, I was impressed by his politeness, his chivalry (yes, he opened doors!) and the fact that his shirt was tucked in. In addition, he was genuinely interested in my conversation, was respectful to his elders, and tolerated the giggles of my junior high "sisters" with charm and big-brotherly kindness. Seven years later, he is still respectful and considerate, not only of me, but of all women. He opens doors for strangers and gives his seat to my mom. The general consensus on the Today Show seemed also to be that Gentlemen are out there, but they're a fewer than they used to be.
       Theories abounded as to who's to blame for the decline and fall of Gentlemen. One commentator said that parents were to blame, one blamed changing social values, and Kathie Lee tried to pin the decline of the species on Rap music. (I love Kathie Lee, but, seriously.) But, no one seems to want to admit the shocking truth of what happened to all the gentlemen. Women Killed them. (Metaphorically, anyway.) Let's be honest with ourselves, people: gentlemen started dying out when Women started to get liberated. Now, before you get your panties in a knot, I have nothing against Women's liberation. The social system of the 1950's was restrictive and doomed to failure. But an unfortunate side effect of women being liberated is that many of the nice things men did for women were chucked aside as being "chauvanist". It is a classic case of throwing out the baby with the bath water. We've gained the freedom to choose our own destiny and get paid well for it, but we've lost the little niceties. And now, we miss those niceties. That's right, girls, we have found the enemy, and it is US. We (or, at least our proverbial sisters) went around acting like anyone who opened a door was a chauvanist just waiting for a knuckle sandwich, and now nobody opens the doors for us. In fact, I've heard several young men say as much: that the number of girls who act flattered by chivalry is outweighed by those who act insulted.
       Fortunately, Gentlemen have been around since way before the fifties. In fact for many hundreds of years (no matter what feminists tell you), it was considered a mark of finest breeding to treat a woman well. So, it shouldn't be too hard to return men to those old ways. And women will have to do it. To quote my favorite fictional Gentleman, Mr. Darcy, "The fault is mine, and so must the remedy be." Since we created this monster, we've got to dispose of it. How, you may ask, can we reverse the pendulum of society and regain all the perks without losing our status? The answer to This is actually so simple that it is easily overlooked: Expect it. To clarify, here's an excerpt from my work-in-progress    :

    I hear all the time that young men "just aren’t like that any more". This may be true, but I stand with many great Christian thinkers in saying that young men don’t behave that way because young women do not expect them to. Think about that. If someone really loves you, don't you expect him to treat you with honor?  If you expect a man to open a door, he will have to open it- or else stand behind you looking dopey while he waits for you to open it. If you expect a man to listen to you, he will have to listen- or else sit alone wondering why he can’t communicate with women. It is probably true that the number of men who do these things spontaneously is few. However, the number of men who will gladly open doors for a fantastic women who likes them is much, much greater. The problem seems to be that so many young women do not expect to be treated with honor.

       So, if you want a guy to be a gentleman, act like a lady. Be polite and respectful to him, and expect him to return the favor. Be honorable, and expect to be treated with honor. And if he doesn't change right away, go easy on him. Kindness breeds kindness. If even a small fraction of us girls start developing the men around us into gentlemen, the world will be a kinder, more chivalrous,  place in no time.
       What do you think, ladies? are you up to the challenge? Guys, can you rise to the occasion?
      
  • Currently
    Star Trek The Next Generation - The Complete Second Season
    By Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner
    see related
    Thanks, everyone for telling me your insights on my last post! I promise some deep-thinking blogs to follow!

    But for now, it's been too long since I blogged and I have too many Ideas in my head. Also, I am slow. So, let's just start with what's goin' on around here.

    Last week, I finally finished sewing on Friday, just in time for dress rehearsal. If I get some pics, i'll post them. Saturday, the first performance was postponed because the Varsity Football team went to the playoffs and 3 of them were in the play.
    Sunday, I had praise team at church. Then, I went to the show, which went on as scheduled, even though two of the actors were in slings from the game the night before. (Apparently they not only lost, but were literally trampled.) One of the guys had a mild sprain, but the other had his arm strapped to his side and it was a blessing his cotehardie was loose enough to pull it on over! I didn't even ask who got his tights on for him. some things are better left alone. But, the show went great nonetheless.
    Monday, I rearranged my living room. That's right, I moved the 500 lb couch around all by myself. I also made 2 pies. Mmmmm.
    Tuesday was Adam's day off and he helped me rearrange the Office, which made me sneeze a lot. (dust) Then that night I had the second performance of my play, which didn't go quite as well, but was funny anyway. (Things will be different when I'm in charge!) Then I came home to find my husband still up and typing away on his novel. He stayed up till 4 am typing, so I stayed up reading.
    Wednesday he was acting strange and admitted to me that his doc had tried a new med for him, but that he didn't like how it made him feel. Wednesday night he vanished. I worried like crazy all night and, obviously, didn't get much sleep. (For those who don't know, he is bipolar, and has had this kind of Manic reaction to meds before. Scary!)
    Thursday my friends consoled and cheered me while we worried about where he was. I didn't get much done. Thursday night he phoned me and we went to get him. Relief! He still has no memory of what happened.
    Friday I tried to recover from three nights no sleep. I also went grocery shopping and applied for a job at Hobby Lobby. (my favorite store!) No word yet whether I was successful in any of those endeavors. I was really zonked.
    Saturday, I spent a wonderful happy day with my Sis and friends going Goodwill shopping and having lunch at Olive Garden. Bliss!
    Yesterday, Adam was sick with a sore throat so we stayed home from church and watched the Broncos and Star Trek, which was exactly what I needed. We had a nice cuddle and a bowl of popcorn on the couch. I also read through what he wrote on Tuesday, and was impressed. 30 pages!

    I never liked writing, but considering my literary family, it's not surprising that  I'm doing so much of it. I'm blogging, Book one is well under way, book two is in the planning stages, and the germ of the idea for book three is now sprouting. For a long time, I've toyed with the idea of writing a memoir about living with a Bipolar person, but after this week I suddenly feel like I have a good idea for it. I never realized it before, but going through these trials has made me a much better person. I'm infinitely patient. I'm unfazed in the face of trauma. I feel like I have at least a little understanding of God's heart. It has shaped me, and only in good ways. That's why I can write a book on true love, and also one on the trials of living with a crazy person.  Whom I love.
    Anyway. It's been a long couple of weeks. But over all, I am ready for a change in my life. A new job, a baby, a million dollars, anything. Just as long as it's new.
    But first I think I'll take a nap.