Tuesday, 16 December 2008

• Coffee Cake = Love

  First of all, sorry for the ridiculously long absence.
  
  I awoke this morning to a blissful 5 inches of snow! I am snuggled with my coffee at my computer for the first time in a long time, and enjoying it thoroughly. My first thought when I got up and saw the snow was that I ought to bake something. Snow makes me feel cozy, and what's more cozy than something warm and soft and sweet? And Baking really helps warm up the house. Plus, I thought my Husband would enjoy a nice coffee cake when he got up. Then I realized that he will probably sleep at least until 9. so maybe I should hold off on that cake awhile. So here I am, finally blogging the thing that's been on my mind all month.
  You may remember that awhile back I wrote about wanting to find my "work" for God. Well, He's been showing me a lot and I feel like, for the moment anyway, I am doing what He wants of me, not just being what he wants me to.
  Back in October, I was listening on line to one of my favorite radio programs: Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I strongly encourage all you girls to check her out (yes, even you singles. Nancy herself is single and even adresses the topic I'm about to write on as it applies to single women) because I have been so blessed by her teaching. She was doing a series on the Titus 2 Woman which I found so challenging and uplifting. And then she got to the phrase, "Keepers At Home", and spent over a week on that one little part of a verse. I won't begin to summarze the teaching here, but God spoke to me one day, as I listened with awe, and said,"You need to learn to do this work, first."
  I was astounded. After all, I had been a Stay-At-Home-Wife for over a year. And I've known how to cook and clean since middle school at least. But the Lord began to show me that it was a matter of heart. I was spending all my time wishing, planning or regretting the things I wanted to do outside my home. In reality, not only was I fairly lazy around the house, but my heart was in rebellion against my situation. It didn't help that other women, especially those at Church were always asking me, "What do you do?" (As in, you don't even have any kids, what could possibly keep you busy all day at home?)
  I started asking myself what it actually meant to be a housewife, something I had never really considered before. I've always considered housewifrey the most noble profession. But, I have never thought it was for me. My mom was a housewife by default. Trained and working as a teacher, she gave up her career to teach Cat and me at home. But it was always clear to me that that was work.  Her job was still teacher, she just taught us. So, I never really thought I was the "housewife type" either. But as God worked on my heart I began considering both myself and the role of "homemaker".
  For most of time and history, women worked in the home. This was not, as many would have you believe, because the men oppressed them and kept them from being "meaningful contributors to society." No, women stayed in the home and worked because, if they didn't, everyone would starve and be naked. Now, a lot of women (especially married ones) like to joke that men would starve and be naked without them now, but nowadays it's not true. Your husband left alone might only eat fast food, but he won't starve. He might accidentally use bleach instead of detergent, but he won't be naked. But as recently as 100 years ago, a woman in the house was literally vital to life. The man went out and procured the raw materials necessary for life, but the woman turned them into something useful. I got a great book at the library called "Forgotten Household Crafts", which truly opened my eyes to how hard that was.
  The housewife prepared every morsel of food from scratch. She baked the bread and fried the chicken, but she also prepared and skimmed the milk, cultured the leaven for weeks, slaughtered the chicken, plucked the chicken, butchered the chicken, prepared the chicken and cleaned up the dishes by hand without running water. Oh, and usually she also made the dish soap herself from ashes and fat.  She did this kind of work over a fire three times a day, 365 days a year. And that was just the cooking.
  The housewife made sure everyone's clothes were clean and presentable (again without running water and using homemade soap), but she also made those clothes herself. Before 1865 she made them by hand. Before the industrial revolution she may have even made the cloth herself. She knitted socks, hats, and outerwear. She cut every piece of fabric with care because it was precious, and she was adept at patching and sizing down still-good garments. And every scrap was saved for quilts or rugs to keep the house warm.
  Her other chores included keeping the house clean, nursing the sick, making candles and other household items, growing a garden, preserving food, and keeping the fire burning without burning down the house.
  Aside: I Love my washing machine! I feel so blessed not to have to pound out my clothes with lye in a cauldron. The hippie in me really likes learning all these things because I have a secret desire to go "back to the land", but honestly, I would have time for nothing else! But who knows, if we do enter a second Great Depression, I might be glad I know how to make soap out of ashes and lard.
  So, housewiferey is not a hard as it used to be. And surely, God is not calling me to start raising chickens. What I really learned is that I needed to change my attitude about making my home. Homemaking is not drudgery these days, it's easy! I have nothing to complain about! I realized that Homemaking is not about what I do, but why I do it. I needed to learn true service and submission to my husband. As much as I study and write on such subjects, I was really resisting in my heart. My husband truly is my hero. I admire him for all the hardships he has overcome--and there have been no ordinary hardships! I trust him completely because he has always taken care of me. He always makes me happy. Was it too much to ask that I mop the floors on occasion to show my respect for him?  And that was the key: not that I mopped, but that I did it so that his life would be easier and happier.
  I'm not going to speculate on how Adam feels about this change, but for me I suddenly felt releived. I felt that what I did had a purpose, and that purpose was showing my love for him through service. I no longer felt "trapped" in my house. I'm on a mission to make it a home.
  The really Ironic thing is that, the moment I learned what God had been trying to teach me, he moved on to lesson 2. I got a job. I had appliled for it back in early October and never heard squat. Then, the first week of December I got a call, was I still interested? and since we really, really, need the money I said yes. I've been working full time suddenly, and I am reeling a little form the transition. And I realize that it's much harder to be a homemaker when you're also a breadwinner. I knew this before when I worked full time, of course, but back then I didn't care. I just let the house go. This time, I think God wants me to learn that, like the Proverbs 31 Wife, I need to take care of my home and be sucessful in the marketplace.
  This is a lesson I never thought I'd have to learn. I thought I was modern and informed, and a good cook, so it would all somehow work out that I had a career. Ok, I thought I'd hire a maid service. But I truly understand now that the first interest of my heart needs to be my home. Nothing else is going to work out for me unless I get that taken care of first. And, surprisingly, I feel very content.
  Also, I feel cold. I think it's time to go whip up that Coffee Cake. And possibly also rice pudding. And, I really do need to mop.
  
  In Other News:
  Our niece, Lillianne Jael was born on Dec. 4. She is beautiful and mother and baby are both doing well.
  Adam's folks moved back to Kansas on Thanksgiving day. They're settling in.
  Adam and I are both moving ahead with our books. I'm thinking that God's plans for us might not be in the order I expected. But hey, He knows best.
  
  

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